My Story

Have I had a tough life?

Yes I have! Do I dwell on it and feel sorry for myself? Not anymore.

Let me tell you my story and explain why!

I guess you could say I became trouble on the day I was born. I was born 6 weeks prematurely and wasn’t expected to survive the night, but 48 years on I’m still here, but my life has been a little bit like the movie ‘Final Destination’.

Despite, my initial prognosis, I grew up into my teens without any health concerns and even competed as a champion swimmer for my country.

However, at the age of 22 I became unwell and had a mini-stroke. It wasn’t clear why this had happened at the time, but I was placed on blood thinning medication and was told that I wouldn’t be able to have children. as a result. I learnt to accept this and threw myself into my career as a Lawyer.

At the age of 32, after carrying out some research myself whilst on a diving trip, I discovered that I had a hole in my heart, which had been there since I was born. Within weeks I was having heart surgery to have this fixed. This was scary, but also really positive, because if it was successful it meant that I may be able to come off my medication and start a family.

The good news is, it was successful and I have a gorgeous daughter called Martha. It was after I had Martha that my priorities around my career changed. After a year off I returned to work on a part-time basis, but by this point I had a new boss who had very different values to me. I still had the same targets as the full-time staff. Within a few months I was working 80 hour weeks just to keep on top of my work.

I became physically and mentally exhausted. I neglected my own needs, developed very unhealthy boundaries and habit,s and I found myself working much harder, but definitely not smarter.

Eventually the stress got so bad, because I no longer felt I was a good mum, good partner, or good friend and I was starting to have regular panic attacks, being sick before I went to work and crying went I got home.  I ended up collapsing and losing the feeling in my whole left side, coupled with my hand going in a claw like shape, which I couldn’t move. I was rushed to hospital. A stroke and heart attack were ruled out, and all my test results came back clear and the doctor said “Mrs Hirons, we’ve got good news. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

This didn’t feel like good news, because I knew my body and mind and I had never felt so unwell in my life.

When I got home, it took every ounce of energy to walk up the stairs and climb into bed, where I stayed for the next 3 weeks. I was completely numb and unable to even talk.

I felt pressured to return to work, or face disciplinary action, so I did return, but I couldn’t focus or concentrate on anything and could read the same line on a document 50 times and I wouldn’t be able to tell you what it said. This resulted in me making mistakes and being placed on a Performance Improvement Plan.

I made the decision to leave a job that I once loved for 14 years before it killed me. I felt like a failure, totally worthless and miserable. However, I knew that I had to slow down and work on myself and my mindset.

I discovered mindfulness and a love for cycling and started to do some big cycling competitions around the UK, which I loved. I also qualified as a Spin Instructor and got a job in a local spin studio teaching several classes for per week. This helped me regain my confidence.

After 2 more years, I was head hunted for a fantastic job opportunity, but it was close to my old office. I wasn’t sure if I could do it, so I used the mindfulness techniques I had learned, which helped me to stop dwelling on the past and make peace with it. I learnt that forgiveness was not about forgetting how another person had wronged me, but about letting go of the emotional baggage, which helped me release any negativity that had come about from the hurt I had experienced. I therefore realised that this person couldn’t hurt me anymore.

Within the first few months in my new role, I won Employee of The Quarter and my confidence improved more. However, despite working on my mindset, I found myself becoming the ‘yes’ person again, taking on too much work, and before I knew it, I was working an average of 60 hours a week again.

I was determined to not neglect my own needs, so I would start my day by cycling the 12 miles into work every day. However, I would rush to get my daughter ready for school and get out of the door and to the office as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, only 9 months into my new job, whilst cycling into work on a cold February morning I had a serious cycling accident, which turned out to be life-changing. However, for me this was life-changing in more ways than one, because although I suffered catastrophic injuries, including multiple broken bones around my orbital area, fractured and smashed cheekbone, fractured jaw, hairline fracture to my skull, loss of hearing in my left ear, moderate brain damage and a broken finger, which placed me in an induced coma for 2 weeks, and required me to have major facial reconstructive surgery, it made me question my ‘WHY’.

I realised that if this had been my last day on earth, would I have been happy with what I’d achieved? My amswer was ‘no’. I wanted more to life and was going to do everything I could to achieve my dreams.

My recovery was long and slow and I had to learn how to function as a human being again. I did go to some very dark places during my recovery, because I was unable to walk, or wash myself for months. I felt broken mentally and physically. This took a toll on my relationship with my husband and he left me. I felt useless as a mum, because I wasn’t able to take care of my daughter properly. I hit my rock bottom and made an attempt on my life. Thankfully I wasn’t successful and when my daughter gave me all her money from her money box and said “Mummy, I’d rather have my mummy, than any money”, I realised I needed help. I started therapy straight away and just talked.

I started to become goal-orientated. My Consultant told me that there would be things I’d never be able to do again, especially anything involving altitude, because of the pressure around my brain. I refused to let this stop me.

I had a skiing trip booked for 11 months after my accident. I was determined to go, so we got the Eurostar to France and to deal with the altitude, I got off the cable car at each level to let the pressure release and then carry on. Despite never skiied before, by the end of the week I took part in my first race and loved it.

 

I returned to my job after 8 months, but immediately I realised I was being micro-managed and I felt history repeating itself again. I didn’t have any proper reasonable adjustments made for me. I was just asked constantly when I would be better. I didn’t have these answers and I was diagnosed with episodic depression.

My employers were not sympathetic to any of this and wanted to put me on a performance improvement plan, or place me on an unpaid secondment until I was better.  This just added to my stress, so my GP signed me off with work related stress.

This was when I finally had my wake up call. I realised that I was deeply unsatisfied doing what I was doing and made my ‘Why’ a reality. I embarked on an intensive Life Coaching course, together with NLP, CIPD, a Masters in Mindfulness, and a diploma in Advanced Nutrition and Weight Management. Through every part of each course could relate everything to what I had been through in life.

I decided that I wanted to work with other people who were burnt out and help them to avoid and recover from it, by raising awareness and working with Leaders to end the stigma and discrimination in the workplace. The Burnout Angel was born.

I have now delivered my talk ‘Broken to Bionic’ around the world and worked with people and leaders in 55 countries helping them to change their lives and mindsets, whilst educating them on the signs of burnout.

One thing I hadn’t managed to do since my accident was get back on a bike and this was a big obstacle for me, so on 3 August 2018 I took part in a half Iron Man event in The Cotswolds and was part of Team True Spirit, which was such an honour. This was very difficult for me, both physically and emotionally, but coming over that finish line made me feel so proud.

I now set myself a crazy challenge every year. In 2019 I took part in Spartan UK, which was a mix of Ninja Warrior and World’s Strongest Man. This was extremely tough, but I completed it.

In February 2024 I will be climbing Kiliminjaro, which will be a big challenge for me due to the altitude. However, I’m currently on a mission to do 50 things I’ve not done before, before I’m 50 in 2024.

In July 2019 I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Thankfully, it was caught very soon and within a few weeks I was in hospital having a total abdominal hysterectomy to have it removed. When I was diagnosed, I wasn’t even stressed about it, or upset, I just told my Consultant to do what he could to get rid of it. I went on holiday for 2 weeks, throughly enjoyed myself and got on with the surgery when I returned. I practiced all of the mindfulness tips I have learned over the last few years, both for the diagnosis and the pain following the surgery and I can honestly say it worked. I am now fully recovered and have written a number 1 best-selling book with a group of other inspiring women called ‘The Girls Who Refused to Quit – Volume 3’. I have just finished writing my second book, ‘Broken to Bionic’.

In October 2019 I won The Inspired Award for my achievements and contribution to mental health and wellbeing and for changing my life around.

 

Once you start believing in yourself, amazing things start to happen.