That first Christmas on my own when my daughter was two years old filled me with absolute dread.
The idea of not spending the whole of Christmas with her and having to share her made me physically sick.
I was worried about being able to afford to buy presents for her and the rest of my family by myself and fitting in time to see my family who lived over an hour away from me.
I also still wanted to go out on my Christmas staff party, but it fell on my weekend with my daughter and I didn’t want to sacrifice my time with her.
What I’ve learned since that first Christmas is the following:
My daughter’s father and I have always arranged contact over Christmas early and even spend time together.
You can spread Christmas out. If you don’t have your kids on Christmas Day, make the next day you have them just as special and do everything you would on Christmas Day on that day. The kids love it and it will be just as special.
Don’t be on your own for Christmas Day. Take up offers of kindness to be with others. There’s nothing like playing fun board games with lots of people and the more the merrier.
Christmas isn’t all about spending money on gifts. Decide on a budget and stick to it. Plan early and discuss with other family members what each other are getting. If you’re still on reasonable terms with your ex, you may even be able to do presents together, otherwise you may find it gets too much and overwhelming for the kids.
Make time for YOU. Yes, you may be single and have kid/s, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to enjoy yourself. If you put yourself first once in a while, you’ll be happier, healthier and more energised and the kids will notice this too and thank you for it.
Enjoy your Christmas.
If anxiety is getting you down please reach out to me for support.